Whisper
by Reciprocal
Summary: And now because of her death Lily held her closer that ever. Unwilling to relinquish that hold onto sanity. Because it was only the memory of her friend that kept her going through the day-through the motions of normalcy.
1. Chapter 1

**Alright YOU! **

**If I owned anything Harry Potter I would be in a comfy padded room with no corners speaking to Dumbledore right now… **

…**And I'm not… **

It was the time of night when secrets prowled the corridors. Darkness seeped through the hallowed halls shrouding even the most mundane of beings in mystery. Shadows flitted silently; finished the unfinished…

Heels clacked along the stone passageway toward the Library. Lily Evans, straining under a pile of books, her once sharp green eyes, now dulled with pain, noted the absence of students in the hallways. Like a shadow herself she stole. Round corners, uncaring.

The truth was, there was little Lily cared for anymore.

It had been one month- one month since she had gotten the news. The terrible news that whipped through Hogwarts like warped lightening.

Mary MacDonald. Dead. Gone. The day before the Hogwarts Express was scheduled to leave King's Cross.

Mary MacDonald and her whole family. Wiped out on Voldemort's orders. Not deemed worthy to live Erased from the map, as if they had never been.

Mary MacDonald who, apart from Violet Clare, was the closest thing Lily held to her heart.

And now because of her death Lily held her closer that ever. Unwilling to relinquish that hold onto sanity. Because it was only the memory of her friend that kept her going through the day-through the motions of normalcy.

But while she clung onto her friend, and mourned for her passing. Lily suppressed the memories.

Memories that held keys.

She was running scared and she knew it. But what else could she do. How could she stop running when, the minute her memories caught up with her, she knew she would succumb? Her iron walls would splinter and she would be rendered powerless and vulnerable. Forced to accept the unacceptable. To-

To leave Mary behind.

How could she do that? When Mary had been her sister for six long years. She who had comforted Lily when her mother died, and who had always wanted the best for her.

Who had loved her unconditionally.

This year would have been their seventh year as sisters.

This year they would have been at the very top of the school. Oh how many plans had been made. Plans now rendered useless. Lists of loss.

Violet had taken Mary's List. Her legendary List of things to do before graduating. But Mary would never graduate. So Violet had undertaken them herself. The Shying Violet. Trying to fill the shoes Mary had left behind.

Lily knew she was being cruel. She knew it was Violets way of honoring their lost friend. Of mourning. And that Violet had loved Mary too.

But how could she not be cruel when the List was a painful reminder of what she had lost?

She knew Violet worried about her. Who didn't when Lily had become a mere shadow of her former self. When she spent every day in a blur-a waking dream. Detached- as if the experiences and emotion of the past month had belonged to someone else. Some other Lily-

-Whose heart was blackened and cracked.

In the first few days after Mary's death various people, students and teachers alike, had approached her. Offering condolences. Words of comfort. But Lily had brushed them all away, preferring to sit in her self-imposed confinement and mourn alone.

Battling her demons by her self…

Gradually they had left, bestowing upon her their pity. Before there were people trying to make her life easier. But in her anger and sorrow she had pushed them away. Now they left her alone, even Dumbledore, who had tried to help Lily more than anyone.

Even James Potter.

Lily smiled bitterly to herself as she realized the irony. That this was the one time she might have let him in, that he was gone. That when Mary had been the one urging her to give in, to give him a chance, it had been Mary's death that made him show his true feelings. That he had never cared for her-he had only thought in a game to convince Hogwarts most upstanding student to get down with the dogs.

But now that she had broken. Now that she bled, he was gone. Finally given her space when the only thing she truly needed was his characteristic intrusive behavior.

Now that she was finally tired of pretending to be perfect.

Of maintaining the effort it took to be a model student.

And tired of pushing everyone away.

There was no one to shake her. No one to make her see sense or help her back towards the light.

There was no one who wanted to walk next to the psycho. She had scared off any fellow mourners. Her appearance left no room for doubt that Lily Evans was breaking. And she was breaking. She was splintering piece by piece. The whole of Hogwarts knew that Lily Evans had lost something vital- that the cool façade that had served her so well through her days at Hogwarts was crumbling around her.

That strong masquerade that she had forever put on was lost as she stumbled through the dark. The darkness in her mind, in her head, and in her heart, was echoed in the shadowy corridors of Hogwarts during the witching hour. As she struggled to come to terms, to find raft, something to buoy her up while she struggled against the dark currents of her personal hell.

And as she stumbled foreword blindly, her books tumbled from her hands. They fell, as the tears finally fell from Lily's eyes.

Lily sank to the ground, crying, as she finally let go and sank beneath her hellish waves.

But out of the darkness, underwater, she saw a rare sun.

Someone who helped her up, and, as she stood their with her broken heart on her sleeve and in her tears, picked up each of her books as it were a lifeline and hand them to her gently, wiping tears from her face.

Lily looked up into the eyes of James Potter.

His eyes sparkled with some unseen light, sparkled golden. He had no doubt been Marauding the deserted halls, a mystery in himself.

The gentle expression in his eyes almost made Lily cry again. There it was what she had been looking for so long. The compassion she yearned for, that her lonely heart bled for

Her ears roared with joy, her heart sang along.

As she watched James saunter off, once more a part of the mysteries that immersed Hogwarts. She realized what Mary had so many years before her. That is wasn't that James thought Lily a challenge, or a prize to win, but that, just as she found herself being drawn to him, he was drawn to her. That there was more than physical attraction.

That James was another tired soul. That, like Lily, he was tired of always being strong. Tired of always being a Marauder.

And that Lily was the only one who could see past that.

3

**For a one-way ticket to my comfy padded room, leave a review… **

**Seriously though, Review. **

**Also, a beta is needed, so if anyone has information on how, where, or why one might find those ever elusive, mythical creatures let me know! Please and Thank you!**


	2. The List

**Presenting…the second half of this two-shot! This story is mainly contemplation on how different people deal with pain…not really sure how it came across…but enjoy!**

**As always, I do not have any claim to Harry Potter **

_There was a letter. _

_That was all Violet knew as she raced through the corridors. _

_Violet had to read that letter. It was vital. A matter of life or death, and somehow, somehow Violet knew that it wasn't just a saying this time. _

_So Violet kept running. She paused for a second to catch her breath before the urgency she felt in her gut propelled her forward. _

_But somehow she wasn't going anywhere, the empty white walls stayed empty. And when she skidded around corridors she ended up in the same place. _

_Frustrated, Violet ran faster. She had to move! She had to go somewhere. _

_She had to see Mary! _

_Mary. _

Violet woke up in her bed. The sheets were tangled, and the sense of urgency left over from her dream, hadn't quite left her.

"Violet?" her mother's sweet tones beckoned her to the door.

Still dazed she looked up, grasping at what little comfort her mother's face still gave her.

"Violet, Mary's downstairs waiting for you."

All other thoughts fled from her mind as she raced downstairs desperate to quell her fears that Mary wasn't completely all right. That her nightmare had just been a dream.

"Mary?" Violet saw her beloved friend standing in the fireplace, her face turned away. She must have just flooed here, Violet breathed out a sigh, of course Mary was all right, how could Violet have ever doubted that. Hadn't it often been joked that there was no force strong enough on this Earth that could finish Mary's indomitable presence?

" Why did you come over so early, love? Have you even had breakfast yet?" Violet laughed, Mary had always been eager to spend time with Lily and Violet. Hadn't they been her closest friends, her sisters?

"Mary?" Some unknown beast stirred uneasily in Violet's stomach, why wasn't Mary answering her, acknowledging her?

"Mary, it isn't funny anymore." Violet snapped, unhappy with herself for becoming so irritable, but she had already been worried, and, unknowingly or not, Mary had no right to prolong her uneasiness.

"Mary MacDonald!" Violet reached over and pulled at her friend.

The limp corpse slumped to the ground. Now that Mary's face was turned to the light, Violet could see that there was no trace of her friend in it.

That Mary's eyes were cold

Unseeing,

Lifeless…

With the body of her dead friend at her feet, Violet screamed.

Violet bolted awake in a cold sweat.

The hangings that surrounded her bed at Hogwarts closed tight, and she could hear the peaceful breathing of the other girls in the dormitory.

Her mind turned back to her dream. It had been two weeks since the day Violet had found Mary's corpse in her living room the day before they were to board the train to their seventh year at Hogwarts.

Two weeks and Violet still woke every night with the same recurring nightmare, for no imagined fantasy could top the horror and fear Violet had felt when Mary's corpse landed at her feet.

Violet tasted salt and she reached up to find tears gently rolling down her cheeks.

Mary.

Her heart called out to her lost friend. How she hated Voldemort for tearing from her sister.

Violet had always been the shy one, no doubt a nobody; one of the ones looked over in Hogwart's halls if it hadn't been for Mary and Lily.

But Lily was gone now to, or, at least, as gone as someone still alive can be.

Lily was just barely alive, breathing and eating, in all other aspects she was as lifeless as Mary's corpse.

Violet shuddered and looked out to the mist laden grounds. How could a human being feel so much sadness?

How was it that, even after two weeks, Violet still expected to see Mary's smiling face in the morning? To hear her booming, contagious laugh. To have someone there to make sure Violet didn't blend into the Walls?

This was supposed to be the greatest year of their lives. Mary had prepared, and planned for this year, always promising that it would be the year that Violet would finally come out of her shell.

But now it seemed, without Mary, Violet would forever stay in the shadows.

No, Violet said to herself, Mary would laugh at me if she saw me now.

What would Mary say? She would give me a shake and tell me to stop blubbering, tell me to enjoy this year.

Violet could almost hear Mary's voice, Why are you wasting time, it cried, there are tasks to be fulfilled, Lists to be completed.

Lists.

Violet froze, suddenly knowing exactly how to honor her friend.

She rolled to her knees, looking out of the crack in her curtains. Seeing no one, she grabbed her wand and slipped silently out. She padded towards the last bed in her row. The one that lay hollow, and cold. Mary's bed.

As she skirted around Lily's bed, Violet froze. She looked down upon Lily's pale face, empty of that horrible pain only in sleep. In her sleep, Lily looked like the old lively Lily Violet had once known, and she yearned to lean upon once more. Violet shook her head, knowing that finally she had to stand for herself, Lily was in no shape to help her. Lily stirred, and Violet paused for a dreadful moment waiting for those green eyes to open and focus upon her. To fill with grief as she realized, reading Violet like an open book, exactly what she had been about to do.

One beat.

Two.

Finally, Lily merely rolled over and resumed her sleep, and Violet let out a breath she hadn't been aware she had been holding.

She stepped over to the empty bed, going down on her knees beside the far bedpost. Running the tips of her fingers down the hard wood, they came to a bump, a knot in the wood. She pointed her wand, gave a last furtive glance at the sleeping girls, and tapped her wand twice on the wood. The deep-toned thuds belied the hollow center and, sure enough, the panel of wood slid open and three folded pieces of parchment fell out.

Violet snatched them up to her and, replacing the ones with hers and Lily's writing on the front, slid the panel back into place. She pressed her palm to the cool wood for a moment and rose to her feet. She looked down to the small parchment in her hand. Written in the thick dark strokes of Mary's hand, it read: _" I, Mary MacDonald, do, in full knowledge of my actions, solemnly swear to accomplish these tasks set in my pen before graduating Hogwarts."_

Violet's throat closed at the sight of Mary's familiar script. Closing her hand into a fist, she made her way back to her bed. With that, Mary's metaphorical torch had been handed off, and Violet accepted the future.

A future that now held the uncompleted tasks set forth by Mary MacDonald.

Violet awoke again in the morning, feeling a familiar dull ache. What had before afflicted her like a sharp stab, now subsided into a dull pounding, throbbing. Perhaps not sharp and fleeting but an imbedded misery deep enough that it could not be removed and forgotten.

She slowly dressed, reveling in the privacy and silence, for once not surrounded by her peers, Violet would not have to put on her mask and try to stay out of notice. As she came out of the bathroom she noticed that Lily's bed was now empty, and the girl herself sat at her dresser. Alerted by Violet's footsteps Lily loooked up.

Violet involuntarily took a step back. Lily eyes were two wide chasms, the was no spark nor any hint of recognition. For one terrible prolonged moment the two old friends looked at each other and Violet knew the sense of loss in Lily's eyes was reflected in her own. As if were too much to bear, Lily finally turned away without a sound. Violet stood, lightly balancing on the balls of her feet, staring at the back of Lily's head, and once again suppressed the urge to weep. In her heart, Violet knew that Mary would be disgusted in the way her two friends were acting, but somehow Violet couldn't bring herself to take that first step. Lily was grieving and Violet had no right to intrude upon her. Instead, she turned slowly and padded down to the common room.

Fin

**Thank You for reading! Now pretty pretty pretty please review, yes? Also, Ch. 4 of Flat-Hunting will be up I, dare I say, the next week or two?**


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